Sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough, but then again, it’s my temper that I couldn’t control. He’s everything that I have ever dreamed of, but I couldn’t keep him. He deserves so much more. We belong in two different worlds but we found love.
Was it me that he didn’t understand or my used to be life that he didn’t? He didn’t like my friends, he became protective and insecure. But he stayed. He trusted me. But why do I feel like screaming and shouting because he didn’t understand how important these people were to me? He was there but he didn’t like. There were one too many events that I got frustrated, it wasn’t his fault but I blamed him because he didn’t understand my world, my attitude and my needs.
Sometimes I feel like everything is about me, sometimes it’s too much that I ignore. I force myself to stay. Because I know this love is major and there isn’t a guy like him id find in a million years.
I know I need him and I want this with him. I fought to be with him. I waited so long to get him. But now that he’s mine, he isn’t the same anymore. Was it me? Was I the cause of his insecurities? Was it because he knew me and he understands me enough to know he needs to be more protective? Was it my life or my past he couldn’t accept?
Things just got better but he’s still bothered by these issues he had bottled up. It’s almost 2 years and I feel invisible. This shouldn’t be wrong. It didn’t ever feel wrong when I’m out with him. Is the clash of our lives the cause I’m feeling like this?